Suspension with my Coachee, Claudia

This week Claudia focused her assignment around a conversation that she had with her best friend. The friend talked mostly about her boyfriend and the problems surrounding their relationship. Claudia admitted that it was difficult for her to practice any dialogic techniques because she found her mind wandering to other topics, like "did I feed the dog this morning?". She didn't feel that she had an important role in the conversation because it was dominated by her friend spilling out details and talking extensively about her personal problems and not allowing for much input or advice. 

  Although the assignment didn't go as planned, we discussed that there is still lots to learn from her experience. I explained that in order to have any good dialogue both parties involved have to be engaged and committed to the conversation. In Claudia's case she was not engaged in the topic, so she never truly left Field I. In order to progress to other fields you must create your own feelings, beliefs, and point of view to offer. Claudia concealed her beliefs because she felt unappreciated. I suggested that she point out these feelings to her friend even though they do not directly relate to the topic of her relationship problems. Voicing her views and making it clear to her friend how she feels would carry the conversation in to another topic. I suggested saying something like "I don't feel like you value my feelings because you only talk about X and don't involve me or ask my opinion". This would be a better stage for her to practice her dialogue techniques because she would be more invested in the outcome and would have passionate beliefs to voice.

Claudia said that it would be difficult for her to find the right way to bring this up, but that she would try to have a second conversation with her friend express her feelings fully. We agreed to talk more about her second trial next week.